Grace for Every Day

This is going to be an honesty post. So, please tune out if you are looking to read some amazing running information. I have fallen victim to thinking that I am less of a woman because I cannot knit, sew, bake an amazing cake, get my child to sleep on cue, shower and dress in an amazing outfit whilst changing diapers and cleaning and organizing our home. It is true. I have this notion that I am not doing things right because I am not a creative goddess or a gorgeous housewife. Why has this happened? Maybe, I spent too much time on Pinterest or read too many Mommy blogs. The reality is I have found value in what other people say a woman and Mom should look like and act.

When I take stalk of who I really am, the truth sets in. I have moved from the US to Asia, had a baby- in 26 hours no less, run daily, make dinner daily, have time for doing laundry, and sing songs, read the Bible, and cherish my little boy. There is nothing wrong with me. My motherhood is firmly established even if my kid cries in the movie, doesn’t fall asleep right when I put him down, has occasional spit up on his onesie, and I look like my pants are two sizes too big and my hair is well, a mess. A glossy picture or a well typed blog shouldn’t change the fact that I am a Mom and the perfect Mom for Caleb.

No matter what the situation in life, we can fall victim to comparison. It happens in running all the time. Some comparison is not a bad thing, but when it devalues who you are made to be, it is out of place. So, I guess I would say, be careful not to find your value by reading a blog of advice, or attending a running group or Mom’s group. You are who you are. Sure, you can learn how to sew, you can pick up the pace and run with the faster folks in your group, but, these things do not make you any different than who you were made to be.

If you come to my house, and it isn’t decorated like a Pottery Barn catalogue, or Caleb screams out while he is supposed to be taking a nap, forgive me. I need grace for every day and there are days I just miss the mark. But, the good news is that I’m learning to be comfortable with who I am and who I am made to be. I may not be able to make Caleb a stellar birthday cake, but I can teach him how to kick a mean soccer goal! Be proud of who you are and keep tabs on how much time you spend matching yourself up to others.

Racing Time is Approaching

It has been 6 weeks since I gave birth! I cannot believe how fast the time has passed. It has been a busy 6 weeks. But, I have been able to fit in running, which is a blessing! It is also hard to believe that in 4 weeks, I will be running in my first race since May 2011! I have posted a pretty ambitious goal for my time 23:30 for a 5k. Secretly, I am also hoping for a 6:40 in the mile race.

I am unsure whether my goals will come to pass. This is mostly because I have not been pushing myself in training like I used to. Mostly, the reason for this, is that I don’t have enough time or energy to do so. I have found myself to be pretty tired from nursing all the time, and the sleepless nights, and well just having a newborn. Also, when I do have time for a run, Caleb usually needs me after 30-45 minutes, so I cannot push the distance. I have the option of running at night when my husband is home, but again, I’m usually too tired to do much beyond 30-40 minutes of running. But, I do think, that this method of training will actually help me with the race. There is no overtraining to be had. Caleb keeps me from centralizing my focus on me. So, we will see if this training method works in helping me meet my goals.

What is your next upcoming race? How has your training been going? What is your goal? Please discuss.

j

Mom and Me 2008. Miss her.

Life Decisions

In just a few weeks, we will be returning to the US with my baby boy! It is such a thrill to think Caleb will get to finally meet his grandparents, and array of uncles, aunts, and cousins. Spending time with family is more precious to me than any other thing. There is just something special about being around those people that are committed to you. But, I do have to admit, I’m excited to run north of the equator for a change.

My husband and I are more than halfway through his contract here. As much as I don’t want to think about the future, because I’m enjoying my little baby, it has to be done. There is uncertainty over our next move but, there are certain things that influence our decision. I’m going to be a stay at home Mom for one. That requires picking a place in the right price range. There are people I want to see weekly that I have missed dearly! And, finally, we have to plan to be part of church community that we feel we are supposed to be connected. These three things influence our decision more then where I want to run and race

Life decisions are tough. Even tougher when you have a little guy that you want to protect. But, the reality is that we don’t have to make decisions on our own. Trusting in family, friends, and church mates to help give counsel is the best bet. We never have to run on the path of life alone.

I’m really looking forward to exploring our options and being open to the next season while staying in touch with the present moment. I never would have thought I’d move to Singapore and have my first baby! So, who knows what’s up next! But, that’s the joy in it right? You never know the path you are running along until you turn the corner and find it. Sure, maybe, you would have opted for the one with less obstacles, but when you finish traversing along it, you can feel the accomplishment in the journey.

Power of the Mind

The power of the mind is often underestimated. Often, we hear, think positive, and positive change will happen. But, there is an element of self belief that needs to happen. We can gain this by practicing both our running skills and our mental skills.

Yesterday, I had a great run. I ran for about 45 minutes. During those minutes, I contemplated my running goals. I started thinking, why don’t I believe I can run a 3:25 marathon? Why don’t I believe that I am strong, fit, athletic and determined? I started to realize the power of my mind is to think negatively. My mind thinks small.

I decided yesterday that there is so much that we were destined to do in this life but, our mind keeps us living small. There are goals we have that are to be accomplished with confidence. Running marathons for a specific time doesn’t really have to serve some amazing purpose. Although, they can: running for charity, running with a friend, running for a family member that has passed on. But, my point is, there is value in running and running well. And, we should convince our mind that we are capable.

I believe I was created to run. And, I do believe that I have the ability to be great at it. But, my mind and my belief have to match up. We have to not just believe we can do something. We also have to convince our mind we are capable. This is challenging and will take constant practice.

One of the ways I have found helpful are holding my negative thoughts captive. When I start to think I am not able to achieve a goal, I snap the thought up and replace it with the truth. I am capable. I run well. I am determined.

I am no way near where I need to be in this concept. But, I can feel the tide turning in my life. For about 2 minutes while running yesterday, I thought, if I can run this well 5 weeks after my baby was born, why can’t I run a 3:25 marathon? This was a first for me! So, please support me in this and hang by to see when I do it!

Our mind is a muscle that must be trained just like our body. It is a powerful tool and especially in those last miles of the marathon, you can tell who trained the power of their mind and who neglected it.

Slow Down! Enjoy the Ride

What I have learned in the past month is that you don’t have to be running fast and furious all the time to stay fit. It is truly hard for me to believe that last night I ran four sub 8:30 minute miles. This is considering that I have not run sub 9 minute miles in well over 6-8 months. Therefore, I would like to encourage you that no matter what your brain tells you, you can run faster and harder than you imagine even when you train slower most days of the week. This is a novel idea to someone like me. As you may have noted in my other posts, running slow and easy is not something I like to do. But, I’m starting to realize, it works!

If you are wondering how you can maximize your run endurance and increase your weekly milage, I highly recommend running at least 3 days at an easy pace. Try and force yourself to stay within a target range of 1 minute to 30 seconds. So, for me that would be about 9:50-8:50. When I start seeing my runs creeping into the 8:40s and 8:30s, I know I pushing too hard. A way you can gauge if you are running too hard is by how many minutes or miles you can complete by running at a certain pace. I usually say if I cannot run more than 3 miles at a pace, it is more likely a tempo or speed workout rather than an easy workout. I would aim for 5-8 miles at an easy pace 2-3 times per week to boost endurance and recovery.

There is a fine balance between challenging ourselves during our workouts and pushing far too much. If you find yourself fatigued, or your race times getting slower. You are overtraining. I have fallen victim to this. The end of my season in 2011 before I found out I was pregnant, I saw a decline in all of my races for about a month. In addition, I was feeling tired and not that interested in running.Take a look at your current race performance, your general health, and your enthusiasm to determine if you would benefit from adding some slow, easy running days into your schedule.

My first race is on July 3. I plan on running a 5k and a 1 mile race. I have not decided if I will run the 5k with my husband or if I will try and race. But, if I do plan to race, I will let you know if my slow, easy runs have paid off.

Enjoy yourself!

 

Running is My Baby…of Sorts

I don’t know if you saw the TIME magazine cover that caused quite a stir over parenting techniques recently. I did and since I have a quite wee one, I decided to read it. Before I had Caleb, I was all about attachment parenting. It made a lot of sense to me. I read a bunch of books and articles on it. Decided it was the way I wanted to raise him. I made a plan. I set my goals and was ready to implement my strategies. However, Caleb was born. I started to get to know him. And, I realized this was not going to work for me. I had to restructure everything I had planned. I realized he is the type of baby that needs me to tell him what to do. He needs my instruction as his mom to be able to sleep well, feed well, and grow. So, what does this have to do with running or endurance training? A heck of a lot! You see, we often make plans. We set our sites on things that on paper look really appealing. We even train for them by reading books, studying, forming ourselves into the pattern of the athlete we want to be. Then, race day comes. And, we realize that training plan did not work at all for our racing style. And, my friends, there is nothing wrong with that! Just like raising children, we are not going to mess them up if we are constantly evaluating how we are doing. When we are involved in our race training, willing to look at what is working and what isn’t, we can clearly see that we are making progress towards our long term goals. This may seem like a strange comparison to you. But, it was such a great revelation I had. It also told me more about the kind of runner that I am. I need a plan. I need a schedule in order to make progress. So, my advice to you is to look at options for training and consider using a method but, adapting a bit of yourself into the method.

There are some things that I do with Caleb that would be considered in the attachment realm. We have a baby carrier and I have a Moby wrap. When he is having a rough time, I will carry him. I will not let him cry and cry without reassuring him that he is going to be ok. However, I do something that is not like attachment parenting. For instance, he is napping in the other room. When I hear him cry on the monitor, I wait and see if it escalates. If it does, I go in and gently say, “It’s ok Caleb, you are going to be ok. It’s nap time. Go back to sleep.” And, he responds.  I have chosen to adapt my plan to his needs. Just like in running, I may prescribe to the Hanson Marathon Training Plan or the 3 day/Week Running Plan. But, I need to adapt the schedule to fit my running personality.

When we train for endurance events, we need to always be on top of the materials out there for our event. It is so important that we pour through many different techniques for training so that we can use a mixed bag to fit our needs. I also advise you of being wary of running coaches or groups that give you a cookie cutter strategy for meeting your marathon or endurance sport goal. You are unique and you need to do what is best for your performance. So, keep reading, keep training, keep running. For me running marathons is my baby of sorts, I am learning to get to know what works best for me and it is a process of growth that sometimes involves painful parts and sometimes involves utter jubilation. But, it takes time, and I am sure that I will not mess it up, if I view it in the proper prospective.

Running Helps me Deal!

Running is what helps me deal. I have learned this immensely over the past 4 weeks. My little guy is as cute as a button but, he is a newborn. And, no one can really prepare you for what the first few months of life with a new baby are like. On top of that, I am alone in a foreign country. My girl pals are far from me and the same with my family. This all around makes stuff pretty challenging. I didn’t even want to post this feeling like “I am weak” for having such a tough time. But, I wanted to encourage other women that have a newbie or folks that are just having a tough time in life right now. Exercise and sweating it out is a MUST during these times in life. And, there is still so much joy even when things are more challenging than you expected.

I have been able to get in a 3 mile run about 5 times a week and a 5 mile run 1 time per week. This is getting me by. However, I miss strength training, and cycling, and swimming! But, thank God for running. When I am running, I pray for my son and I pray for patience in this time when he needs me so much. He is usually right there with me next to the treadmill when I run. His soft little cheeks and tiny little body remind me that he will only be this small for such a blink of the eye. As I pray during my runs, I can feel a surge of endurance coming through. I can step off and feel energized to take care of him for the rest of the day.

Running helps me to remember that there is no time for self pity. Having a baby is a gift from God. Sure, there are challenges but, the reward of raising him is so much greater. When I run, I am reminded of these things. I am reminded that I have been given a child to love and cherish and help raise to love God and others. The sweat pours off my body and I am thankful once again.

When I run, I also confess the things that I have been angry about that day. Often times, I confess that I am sorry that I have been feeling isolated because I moved here and have very few friends. I confess that I am mad that my mom died and that she isn’t around to comfort me. I confess that I have been angry at my baby for not sleeping during nap times. I confess that I have been selfish and just want time to be alone and run for greater than 30 minutes. After I have voiced my frustrations, I can feel the burdens being lifted and my spirit is no longer dark and empty.

Running is more than just a sport for me. Since 2009, it has been how I deal. Life can be rough sometimes. We can miss all the joy in it because we are so bogged down by the tough stuff. But, the fact is, that there is more light in life than darkness when we acknowledge it. I am so thankful I can run. I am so thankful that I can meet up with God when I have no one to run with. I am thankful that running brings me to a place where I no longer feel the weight of the world.

We don’t have to be discouraged in this life. We can find a place of meditation in exercise that allows us to meet up with God. This may not be how you look at running, and I understand. But, for me, running has been a spiritual experience that is worth far more than medals and finisher certificates. Running is what helps me deal.